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Conveniently Located in the Side Yard of the Russian Embassy!

Visit one of the Big League Wings of Donald J Trump's Presidential Library

HALL OF HISTORIC TRUMP BUSINESSES

Be it the USFL, Atlantic City's robust economy, airlines or steaks there are few industries where Donald J Trump has not left a lasting impression. Much like other massive objects like a meteor. Please visit the Business Wing Cafe for a "Tiffany Salad" where the vinegrette is made from leftover Trump Wine! Bonus: first 100 visitors daily receive a Trump University diploma! - Business

LEGACY OF DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION ANNEX

President Trump has a historic legacy focused on diversity going back days and possibly weeks by the time you'll be reading this. Come along as we "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah" through this harmonious time in our country's history. - Diversity

THE FIRST FAMILY: A JOURNEY THROUGH HUMILITY

Nothing says "American Dream" than working up from hardscrabble roots to be successful. Take an adventure with us as we chronicle President Trump's poverty stricken days of being a single digit millionaire to him likely being a multi-millionaire today. - Family

PRESIDENTIAL PORTFOLIO GALLERY

Whether it is highlighting the plights of handicapped journalists or sending his family to rid the earth of loser endangered animals ("I like strong species. Only weak ones are endangered. Sad!"*) there are more than enough photos to capture this amazing man and his family. It will give you the feeling of butterflies in your stomach! Or any number of insects for that matter! - Gallery

GET OUT, LADIES! A Fun Celebration of Women’s Rights (Hosted by Bill O’Reilly)

Business

It’s remarkable how knowledgeable about sexual harassment Bill O’Reilly is!

With women’s issues front and center today and the movie Get Out! being so popular we at the Real Donald J Trump Presidential Library thought it would be fun to smash these up in a fun, interactive exhibit.  Hosted by friend of President Trump, star of Inside Edition and Loofah enthusiast Bill O’Reilly the exhibit takes you through a world where sexual predators roam freely, but are also aging rapidly.  These predators have discovered the path to immortality, but to do so they must find a vessel to transplant their brains.

And what better vessel than women?  Strong, hardworking and best of all –> who’s going to believe a woman who claims she was sexually harassed by herself…?

The experience begins with a job interview, followed by offers for 1:1 “career coaching” in private rooms and possibly even some furniture buying.  As this is a choose-your-own adventure exhibit the experience will be different for each woman.  The main difference being how fast you can run.

Please join us soon in this merrymaking expedition.  We do strongly recommend against wearing high-heels, however.

 

Trump Cafe Menu

Gift Shop and Cafe

Tiffany Salad
– A beautiful salad that somehow seems out of place here.  The flavor contrast comes from the dressing made from leftover Trump Wine

Endangered Étouffée
– A “catch of the week” item featuring the meat from whatever endangered animal the Trump boys killed this week!

KellyAnne Cracked Head Crab Legs
– Fresh, pre-cracked crab legs that are so good your head will get dizzy and you will start spouting nonsense to anyone who will listen

Trump Manhattan
– Like a regular Manhattan, but prepared with a glass freshly rinsed with certified organic and artisanal Russian prostitute pee

Paul Ryan Grilled Squid
– Our favorite spineless menu item!

Bannon Bean Soup
– White beans only, of course

Trump Airlines: Fly the Angry Skies!

Business

A Trump Air Shuttle for Every Wife!

It was everything you know and love from a Trump business AND it flew!  Not very long, mind you (pesky things like profitability, wasteful spending, poor reliability and passengers getting sick from spray tan residue – SAD!), but Trump Air did in fact fly!

While it was a fleeting venture those lucky enough to fly with Trump received the same quality experience every other Trump business customer enjoys:  gold plated toilets, hosts in rented tuxedos, crashes & destruction and yelling – so much tremendous yelling!  In the end it was an incredible success that was only stopped when the industry collapsed.  The entire airline industry stopped flying and that’s the only reason Trump Air is not running today.

BTW – if you use the Google to check this out know that the failing Main Stream Media has rigged it so that it appears that all other airlines are still in business while Trump Air failed.  THEY’RE the ones who failed; I’m not a failed puppet!  Sad!

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste at Trump University!

Business

A rite of passage for many Americans is that first day/week/month of going off to college – meeting new friends, getting involved in campus life, following your passion to create a career, cheering on the university’s athletic teams, etc.  It’s a time that almost all Americans who experience it rate at or near the happiest times in their lives…

Like many of life’s basic needs (food {steaks!  wine!}, shelter {hotels!}, travel {airlines!}) Trump saw education as something he could make a lasting impact on the quality of peoples’ lives.

Trump decided to take all of those qualities of the education experience that people remember so fondly and set them aside.  Those were features folks could find in other (failed!) education institutions.  Trump needed to differentiate so he brought a new dimension to education:  classes taught by “real” Americans (ie – no one actually qualified to teach); offering no real diploma or recognized college credit; and as a bonus a thorough education on racketeering and fraud!

While not a university in the traditional sense there were a few fun campus organizations you could join.  Lame universities have things like the “Greek System” where college students from various backgrounds can socialize and mingle.  At Trump University this was the “Class Action System” where students could socialize and do fun things like “file lawsuits”.  And boy did these “Class Action” kids know how to party – at the end of the last semester they threw a $25M shindig financed solely through the charitable giving of Mr. Trump himself!  https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/19/us/politics/trump-university.html

This Trump University Student paid $25 Million in Tuition!