Tiffany Salad
– A beautiful salad that somehow seems out of place here.  The flavor contrast comes from the dressing made from leftover Trump Wine

Endangered Étouffée
– A “catch of the week” item featuring the meat from whatever endangered animal the Trump boys killed this week!

KellyAnne Cracked Head Crab Legs
– Fresh, pre-cracked crab legs that are so good your head will get dizzy and you will start spouting nonsense to anyone who will listen

Trump Manhattan
– Like a regular Manhattan, but prepared with a glass freshly rinsed with certified organic and artisanal Russian prostitute pee

Paul Ryan Grilled Squid
– Our favorite spineless menu item!

Bannon Bean Soup
– White beans only, of course